Year 3 Reflections: #Nomoremasking
My biggest lesson learned in year 3 was to
JUST BE MYSELF!
JUST BE YOURSELF
My life changed, when I invested in healing and wearing my smile authentically.
I feel like I spent the first two years of my business trying so hard to be like other consultancies and be on “the list” that I lost myself. I lost the self positioning that truly makes me unique. Those feelings were even more amplified when I started fundraising again at an organization. I ended up concentrating on how I didn't match the community. I wasn't wearing sundresses in the spring, I didn't wear/have/afford the latest fashion trends, I drove my husbands overly “sunned” Toyota to donor events and meetings. Ugh, I felt those feelings kept creeping in again and again of trying to fit in. What if I resembled other fundraisers, the community members I’m interacting with or was on these donor’s list? Then I would be great, things would be great. However, that was not the case. All it did was leave me in a place of feeling hollow inside as I threw on my mask each day so I could show up for others. But this was the mask I just didn't and couldn't throw on for potential clients/partners.
I needed and wanted to just be myself.
Through healing, I reflected on the relationships that truly mattered in my life and why they existed. These relationships didn’t exist because I was attuned to the latest and greatest. They existed because at every moment, I brought my heart, passion, and consideration for others.
Life Can Bring Challenges
I remember a pastor saying, “It’s okay to not be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way.” This was a season in life that I accepted the feeling of not being okay, and found myself again.
When I started to be the version of me that truly loved the person I've become and the business I’ve built things became clearer. Freedom became attainable…doors opened. I’m not interested in being on the top list, having the perfect business formula, making the most money, I’m purely interested in being me and making a difference with those that align.
When I think about how much I’ve struggled in year 3 to be myself, I hear my friend cheering me on saying, “Girl, you better get out that Toyota like it’s a Lamborghini” and it continues to mean so much to me. It challenged me to just be who I am regardless of who’s watching or what I look like and if you want to see, go ahead and check me out! haha.
But seriously…what if we stopped measuring ourselves against one another and creating a list or labeling each other as the most successful. Maybe people would feel more inclined to simply show up as themselves and bring the true value that they have inside. Every organization I work with, our first challenge is to throw out all previous perceptions of fundraising so they can show up as themselves authentically. That's how transformation happens, right? When we can finally feel seen by one another.
Now this revelation in year 3, doesn’t mean that I’ve stood by my mindset daily, some days are a struggle!! Because stress is real. But I can breathe knowing that I am doing everything I can to show up as Melissa DeClue, Wife, Mother of 5, Woman of Faith, Founder and Chief Engagement Strategist of Amplify Missions.
So if this messaging was inspiring to you, I hope you join me over in the DRX Collab. I’m busy creating a space for us to be relational and experience life of abundance in within philanthropy so we can get back to loving what we do!
Acknowledgements: Thank you Jennifer Harris for creating the hashtag for this blog, #NoMoreMasking. It is in this work that we must learn to uplift those around us that inspire us greatly each day.